1. Work. No matter how you feel, work. Put the hours in. Do it for yourself. Put everything aside, social pressures, your own fears, expectations from family and work because that’s what you’re here for. That’s what you need to do to progress. Eventually you’ll begin to enjoy it
2. You’ll put on weight a lot easier than you’ll lose it so look after your body. Eating takeaway alone at 2am will just make you feel even worse in the morning. Make dinner for yourself, even though it may feel pointless
3. Consider your parents perspective more. You don’t have to agree with them or change the way you think/feel but just consider it for a moment. Think of where they’ve come from, the decisions they’ve had to make, the things they’ve left behind. You’ll understand them better and you’ll understand why they want certain things from you. It won’t make anything easier but at least you’ll understand
4.Look in the mirror every single morning and tell yourself that you are beautiful and kind and clever and that you will be ok. You don’t have to believe it but speak the words out loud. It’s good to hear that from yourself. One day, you’ll believe it.
5. Be more open with people. It’s a little sad when people admit they had a very negative perception of you. Just try a little. Don’t change who you are but don’t be afraid of hiding the brighter side of yourself.
6. Accept that people will leave you but remember that you too will leave people. It’s a part of life. Sometimes we need certain people and then it is time to let them go. They have to move on and so do we. You may feel like you have lost something special but in years to come, you’ll cherish that person much much more than you would have done if they had stayed. You’ll admire their strength for leaving.
7. Learn to say no. Don’t commit yourself to things because other people want you to. If something is not right for you, have the strength to say no. You’ll lose respect for yourself otherwise.
8. Learn to say yes. Don’t shy away from new opportunities. You could potentially experience things you’ll tell stories about to your grandchild. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” has a lot of truth to it
9. Plan less, do more. It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent hours making meticulous plans or thought through a hundred different ideas, if you don’t actually do something. Work through those plans.
10. Try to do one good thing per day. Hold a door open for someone. Pay for a coffee. Compliment your friend on something random. Hold someone’s hand. No matter how bad a day might feel, you can hold onto the fact that you did something positive.
11. Put aside an hour a night for something you’re interested in. Personal academic interest, literature, music. Whatever it is. Ignore your phone. Log out of all social networks. Read a paper, a chapter of the book you’ve been planning to read for years, listen to that one album that always stirred something within you. You won’t regret it
I don’t know what asshole invented the idea that teenage girls are the cause for all evil, but I really hope that person never has to raise one. I don’t want him to see her dissolve in his fingers as society tells her to eat less, be thinner, be the damsel in distress, be something for a man to fix, be different but not too different, be special but never ever a special snowflake - I don’t want him to watch as she realizes that no matter what she loves, she’ll be made fun of for it. She can simply like her coffee from Starbucks and suddenly she’s vapid and thinks herself poetic. She’ll want to play video games but be called a fake nerd, particularly if she poses in any remotely flirtatious way because for some reason despite the entire community playing games with poorly dressed women they still hate it when a real girl wears less clothing, she will be seen as trespassing in a specifically male space - but when she falls in love with a female-based television show for children, she’ll watch as men step on themselves to sexualize it. If she wants old-fashion romance she’s seen as being naive but at the same time is told to keep herself ‘pure’ for some dude that might not hurt her. If she admits to being anything, she makes herself a target. She will be told her worth is based on how much a man values her. She might love to cook but she’ll hate being asked to stay in the kitchen, she might love to read but get told she’s too introverted by half the population and ‘not that special’ by the other. If she loves to go out and party, she’s ‘just another college co-ed,’ if she loves to spend her friday nights watching anime, she’s a shut-in. God forbid she be proud of something: the words “I’m different from other girls” are a death sentence because we live in a society that doesn’t want to see women like that, a society that doesn’t like the idea maybe we all are actually different and not carbon copies of each other, maybe we all would like to feel unique and loved and worth knowing - maybe the real problem is that she will be raised to believe being a girl means silicone and photoshop and dying as a way to move forwards a plot - and she doesn’t want to be seen as that. When she says “I’m not like other girls,” she means she’s not like the girls she sees on tv, these invented two-dimensional creatures that say one line and then get chased down by monsters.
She can try all she likes. She’ll be shut down at every single fucking turn. What she doesn’t know is that they’re getting her ready for when she’s grown up because she’ll be so used to being stepped on she’ll just give up. Why respect women when you don’t even respect little girls?
And when she is burning up, when she mentions that her insides are volcanoes and her skin is too thin to contain them: she will be told she is hysterical, that she’s doing it for attention.
I don’t want him to watch as she shuts down, as she learns to live as a paradox, I don’t want him to see her rip herself to shreds in order to be perfect, I don’t want him to realize that there’s no way she’ll get help because she’s only doing what she’s told.